It's fall now. I'm in the middle of grad school applications, wondering if I would even go if I were to get in.
Teaching is fine, but all this grad school stuff distracts my mind.
Someone pointed out to me yesterday that if I'm worried about something, I obsess over it until it ruins everything else I'm doing, so I'm working on that.
There's too many uncertainties right now. This must be what life is like for most people. Perhaps I was just ignoring all the uncertainty before.
I continue to be frustrated with my students. High school students who have been studying English for ten years I expect to understand phrases such as, "Will you take the test next week?" "What class do you have next?" , especially when they are spoken slowly. Language isn't easy, but I get the feeling that these kids have been failed by awful Korean language pedagogy. Perhaps some of them have already ruined themselves by not studying, but even good students can't understand most of what I'm saying most of the time.
Really, just frustrating not being able to communicate with the kids... especially when I have the ability to speak Korean. I do sometimes of course, but I want the kids to speak English. I suppose conversation is too much to ask at this stage. Then again, I don't exactly put my best foot forward. I haven't started a conversation club or comprehensively attempted to test their level. Next year I'll be gone anyway. I think I'll miss them though.
So I've decided to go into natural resource policy and trading. A little strange I know. Firstly I'm terribly intimidated by the field. I have no substantial engineering, environmental science, policy, or financial background. The latter two I can probably handle. The first two will be a little more tricky.
I've been wondering if going back to school for a second bachelors in engineering would be a good idea. Wouldn't that education be better than shelling out a thousand a unit for grad school fluff in anything else?
Worry, worry, worry....
